What It Feels Like For a Girl (A Book by Paris Lees) — And Why You Need to Read It

Let me tell you about a book I wish had existed when I knew exactly who I was — but couldn't yet do anything about it. It didn't, because Paris Lees hadn't written it yet. She has now. Better late than never.

What It Feels Like For A Girl was published by Penguin in 2021 and it is in my opinion, genuinely, one of the most important pieces of trans literature to come out of Britain. Which is a bold claim. So let me back it up.

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Who is Paris Lees?

If you're not already familiar with Paris Lees, here's the short version: she's a writer, journalist and broadcaster from Hucknall, Nottinghamshire. She was the first transgender woman to present on BBC Radio 1 and Channel 4, and the first trans columnist at British Vogue. She has written for the Guardian, the Telegraph and Vice. She was named the most influential LGBT person in Britain by the Independent on Sunday in 2013 and holds an honorary doctorate from the University of Brighton, which she absolutely earned.

She is not, she will tell you herself, a trans activist. She's a writer who happens to be trans. There's a difference and it matters.

Her childhood was difficult — she was badly bullied, ended up in prison after a robbery and turned her life around while incarcerated. On her release, Paris transitioned, went to university and built a career in journalism. That's the condensed version. The book is the full one.

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So what's the book actually about?

The memoir covers Paris's life between the ages of 13 and 18, set against the backdrop of early 2000s Britain — think Missy Elliott, Nokia 3310s and very questionable fashion choices that we are all collectively agreeing not to discuss. It uses a fictional character, Byron, as a vehicle for writing about her pre-transition self. Byron is working-class, furious, brilliant and trying to escape a small town that has absolutely nothing to offer her. She finds her people — a gloriously chaotic chosen family called the Fallen Divas — in Nottingham's underground club scene.

Each chapter is named after a Noughties chart hit and the whole thing is written in East Midlands dialect. That's not a gimmick. It's a structural choice that puts you right inside the story and makes you feel the class and geography as much as the gender. British Vogue called it something that would make you laugh and weep within a few pages. That's accurate.

Why it's not your typical trans memoir

Here's the thing about trans narratives in mainstream media. They tend to follow a template. Suffering, revelation, transition, redemption. Rinse and repeat. Paris Lees refused that. She said she had no interest in offering up a misery narrative for cisgender society's consumption. Her argument — and I think she's right — is that the entire point of transphobia is to rob trans people of their joy. So she insisted on writing the joy back in. The chaos, the laughter, the found family, the absolute determination to have fun even when everything else was falling apart.

The memoir is warm, funny and honest to a fault. It doesn't flinch from the hard parts — the exploitation, the danger, the violence — but it never lets those parts define the whole story. Byron (Paris) is not a victim. She's someone surviving, often recklessly and that's what makes her so compelling.

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The BBC adaptation

If you've somehow missed this: the book was adapted into an eight-part BBC Three series, which premiered in June 2025. Paris wrote the scripts herself. It has since picked up five BAFTA nominations, including Best Writer for Lees — which is both wonderful and overdue.

The show has been compared to It's a Sin in terms of its cultural impact. That is a very high bar. Based on what audiences and critics have said, it clears it.

Why this book matters

I read a lot of trans memoirs. Most of them are written by people who transitioned young or who transitioned in circumstances very different from mine. That's fine — all those stories matter. But What It Feels Like For A Girl hits differently because it's not trying to be a handbook or an argument. It's not written to persuade anyone of anything.

It's just a woman telling her story in her own voice, in her own dialect, on her own terms. Which is, when you think about it, exactly what most of us have spent our entire lives being denied the right to do.

Read the book. Watch the series. And if anyone tries to tell you trans stories are too niche for mainstream audiences, point them at the BAFTA nominations and ask them to try again.

I am a D&I consultant, keynote speaker, Mental Health First Aider, writer and transgender woman with 20+ years of senior corporate leadership experience. I work with businesses across all sectors to build genuinely inclusive cultures whilst also supporting transgender individuals and their families through every stage of the journey. If this piece resonated, you can find more articles on andreaking.net  or  book a free discovery call if you'd like to talk.

The views expressed in this article are my own and are based on personal experience and perspective. They are not intended as medical, legal or professional advice.

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Frequently Asked Questions - What It Feels Like For A Girl

Who is Paris Lees?

Paris Lees is a writer, journalist and broadcaster from Nottinghamshire, known for her work across BBC Radio 1, Channel 4, British Vogue and major publications.

What is What It Feels Like For A Girl about?

It is a memoir about Paris Lees’ life between the ages of 13 and 18, set in early 2000s Britain and told through a fictionalised character named Byron.

Why is the book considered important?

Because it rejects the usual suffering-focused trans narrative and instead centres joy, class, friendship and lived experience.

Was the book adapted for television?

Yes, it was adapted into an eight-part BBC Three series that premiered in June 2025.

Why should people read it?

Because it is a powerful, original trans memoir that tells a story in a voice and style that feels honest, vivid and culturally significant.

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