We Need to Talk About How we Support Each Other

There's something I've noticed since I came out and started living openly as myself. The transgender community is one of the most resilient, creative and fiercely compassionate groups of people I have ever encountered. We show up for each other in ways that would make most people's heads spin. Online at midnight when someone is struggling. In comment sections, DMs and support groups. In quiet, unglamorous ways that nobody ever writes press releases about.

And yet there are gaps. Real ones. And I think we need to be honest about them.

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Advocacy and Visibility

Advocacy - real advocacy - isn't just visibility. It isn't a flag in a profile picture or a post on the 31st of March. Those things matter, don't get me wrong. Visibility saves lives. Representation matters more than people who've never needed it will ever fully understand. But advocacy without support is a bit like putting up a welcome sign on a door that doesn't open from the inside.

What Support Really Means

Support means something specific. It means being there for the person who has just told their family and is sitting with the fallout. It means having somewhere to turn when the NHS waiting list stretches so far into the distance it's practically theoretical. It means not leaving people to navigate the bureaucratic maze of name changes, medical appointments and legal paperwork entirely alone, as though it's all perfectly straightforward if you just Google hard enough.

It isn't.

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The Reality of Transition

I transitioned later in life. I had decades of corporate experience, a reasonably thick skin and access to information that many younger or more isolated transgender people simply don't have. And even I found parts of it overwhelming. Even I had moments where I didn't know who to ask or where to turn. So I think about the people who are doing this without any of that - younger, more vulnerable, less connected - and I worry.

Community Strength and Responsibility

The community does extraordinary things with very limited resources. That deserves to be said clearly and without qualification. Peer support, grassroots organisations, individuals who give their time and energy simply because they remember what it felt like to have nobody - all of it matters enormously.

But I also think we can do more. And I think those of us who are further along in our journeys have a particular responsibility to look back and reach a hand out.

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Ways We Can Support Each Other

That might look different for everyone. For some people it's volunteering. For others it's sharing their story publicly so that someone, somewhere, sees themselves in it and feels fractionally less alone. For others still it's simply being honest about how hard it was - because the polished, triumphant version of transition that tends to make it onto social media doesn't always tell the full story - and the full story is what people actually need to hear.

Advocacy and Support Go Hand in Hand

Advocacy and support aren't separate things. They're two sides of the same conversation. One creates visibility. The other creates safety. You need both. We Need to Talk About How We Support Each Other.

Turning Experience Into Action

I started my business because I wanted to do something practical with my experience - not just tell my story, but use it to make things genuinely better, both in workplaces and for individuals who need support. That felt like the most honest thing I could do with everything I've lived through.

Because at the end of the day, the question isn't whether the transgender community is strong enough. It is. The question is whether we're building the kind of structures around that strength that mean nobody has to be quite as strong as they've had to be up to now.

We can do better. And we will.

I am a D&I consultant, keynote speaker, Mental Health First Aider, writer and transgender woman with 20+ years of senior corporate leadership experience. I work with businesses across all sectors to build genuinely inclusive cultures whilst also supporting transgender individuals and their families through every stage of the journey. If this piece resonated, you can find more articles on andreaking.net  or  book a free discovery call if you'd like to talk.

The views expressed in this article are my own and are based on personal experience and perspective. They are not intended as medical, legal or professional advice.

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Additional Supporting Research - We Need to Talk About How We Support Each Other

Research consistently shows that social support and community connectedness are linked with better mental health outcomes for transgender people, including lower depression and anxiety and higher resilience. A recent paper on racially minoritised transgender and non-binary people also explores how strength is shaped through community, identity, and support: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12533792/

One PubMed Central study found that family support had the strongest relationship with mental health and resilience, while peer support also helped buffer the effects of stigma. You can read more in this article on resilience in transgender individuals: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7390536/

A systematic review found that transgender community connection can improve wellbeing, support identity exploration, and increase connection to care. That broader evidence base is discussed here by Sage Journals: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/lgbt.2019.0014

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Frequently Asked Questions

What does real support in the transgender community look like?

Support means practical, emotional, and ongoing help—being there during difficult moments, helping navigate systems like healthcare and legal processes, and ensuring no one feels alone.

Why isn’t visibility enough on its own?

Visibility raises awareness and representation, but without real support systems behind it, individuals can still struggle without access to care, guidance, or community.

How can individuals contribute to better support?

People can volunteer, share their stories, offer peer support, or simply be honest about their experiences to help others feel less isolated.

Why is peer support so important?

Peer support comes from lived experience, making it deeply relatable and often more accessible, especially when formal systems are limited or overwhelmed.

What role do experienced community members play?

Those further along in their journey can offer guidance, reassurance, and practical help, creating stronger pathways for those just starting out.

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